Job Search Depression [How Others Have Overcome]

Job Search

Jun 4

In today’s job market, I had to do more than just highlight my experience or tailor my resume. I realized that the job search had become a mental and emotional marathon. One in which I would need to rely on my self-confidence, resilience, and unwavering faith in my abilities to combat job search depression. With each step forward, I encountered new challenges such as ghosting from potential employers and requests to perform unpaid tasks during interviews.

All of this easily leads to job search depression. Yet with each hurdle, I gained a deeper understanding and appreciation of my own power and through time and experience, I learned to overcome those feelings of depression.

Is Job Search Depression Real

You bet it is. Just ask anyone who’s been job searching for more than a month and you’re likely to hear stories of mild to severe job search depression. This past week I spoke with over a dozen job seekers in a variety of industries and all of them indicated that they had experienced some form of job search depression or JSD.

Job searching is tough. It involves frequent rejection, stress, and anxiousness. Some people compare it to feelings of being broken up with. The only problem is you can be stuck with this situation for much longer than a break-up.

If you let JSD get to you, it can really affect your ability to find another job. The more rejections, the longer the search, and the more negative exposure on social media can only exacerbate it all.

When I spoke to Josh Scofield this week about his 2-month job search for a Talent Acquisition role, even he mentioned how tough it was mentally to manage the rejection. Josh said it was incredibly frustrating to submit 12 applications each week, follow up with everyone he could find at each company, and then hear nothing in return. Or worse, a generic rejection email.

Why Does JSD Happen?

Ultimately it’s a result of stress, most likely from rejection and an unknown path forward according to the professionals I interviewed this week. But here are some things that could be fueling your feelings.

Unrealistic Pressure and Expectations

Sometimes we create our own problems. Many of the people I spoke with mentioned that they had searched for a job for years. But after a recent layoff, they found themselves in a very different market with very different job search conditions. It wasn’t until they let go of their preconceived expectations that they relieved some of the stress.

Pursuing the Wrong Jobs

The world is constantly changing and evolving and we have to as well. Knowing what skills you bring to the table and where they are most marketable is necessary for today’s job search. You may not be able to stay in the same job. You may be applying for jobs that have immense competition and few openings. A lack of strategy on the front end could be causing you job search depression.

Working with a coach early on in a job search could save you a lot of anxiety in the long run.

Exposure to Pessimistic Social Media Posts

A lot of people take their frustration to social media. It’s also filled with constant news of layoffs and people struggling to find a job. This is only made worse by a large segment of the coaching community who preys on these types of posts to fill their pocketbooks. They’ll talk about how terrible recruiters and hiring teams are. And let’s be real, some of them are terrible.

But like any profession, you’re going to get good with the bad. Limit your exposure to this type of content or you’re likely to feel more depression.

The Job Market

Let’s face it, depending on what industry and role you’re in, the job market may be the problem. While the government brags about job growth, much of that growth this year was in the public sector and places like manufacturing. If you’re in tech, that’s not going to help you much.

A bad job market will lead to more job search depression. For the most part, this is out of your control. But you can make smart choices about the jobs and industries you seek to work within next.

Money

If you don’t have much savings, this is going to make your JSD worse. Don’t be afraid to take a freelancing gig or temporary job to refill your coffers. There is also no shame in attempting to find a quick job such as working retail during the holidays if you need the income. It may feel demoralizing now, but the people I’ve spoken with who have done this all say they felt better having some money coming in.

How One Account Executive Overcame His Layoff

Recently, Brandon Baker shares his experience with combatting all those feelings that come after being laid off. Here’s what he had to say.

Distinguish Fault vs Responsibility

It’s not your fault that you were laid off or that the job market is difficult right now. It is your responsibility to choose your emotions, perceptions, and actions regarding those external events.

Get Curious About the Pain

You don’t have to act like it’s not a big deal that you were laid off. Brandon found that journaling about why this layoff hurt and why he felt numb helped him discover his identity was being shaped by work busyness to avoid feelings of dread. After realizing this he was able to volunteer, exercise, and even try improv to help him keep balance.

Acknowledge Your Weakness

Entitlement was a problem for him and it is for many of us. He felt he was unique because he’d been laid off 3 times. This resulted him playing the victim card frequently in his social media posts and elsewhere only to realize that he wasn’t alone and that many others were in a similar situation.

Shifting from validating his pain to realizing that he wasn’t a victim but needed to manage how he dealt with uncertainty made a difference.

How to Overcome Job Search Depression

First of all, it’s not easy. You should know that. Your feelings are real and natural. Job searching, especially a prolonged job search may be one of the most stressful times in your entire life. But, it can get better. This week I sat down with Christy Howard, Confidence Coach to discuss this topic. Here’s what she had to say.

Keep Perspective and Take Time to Reflect

As a result of the experiences, I have had throughout my life, I have become the authentic individual that I am today. In order to overcome the overwhelming feeling of job searching, I thought about my past, recalling the challenges I had overcome, the expertise I had acquired, and the unique skills I brought to the table. My professional and personal development has been enhanced by every step I took, even when I encountered bumps and detours along the way.

Stay True to Yourself

Whatever the situation may be, whether it be a challenging interview or a casual conversation, I would remind myself that every 'no' might lead me one step closer to a 'yes,' which would align perfectly with my mission and values. To me, the key was to find a position in which I could thrive and make an impact.

Navigate Ghosting & Unpaid Tasks

Periods of silence or requests for unpaid projects were disappointing. The issues I encountered were not viewed as a reflection of my worth, but rather as factors related to the company, which provided an insight into the company's culture. In every situation in which I was ghosted or asked for free work, I evaluated the situation and reminded myself of my value.

The 'Cultural Fit' Dilemma

During my job search, the term "cultural fit" often arose. Although I appreciated its importance, I was clear that I was committed to remaining true to myself. I realized it would be very draining to pretend to be someone I was not, and I realized the importance of finding a work environment that fosters my authenticity.

Balancing Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Health

While I was seeking employment, I sometimes felt as though I was riding an emotional rollercoaster that overwhelmed me. I committed myself to setting specific times for my job search activities, taking breaks, and avoiding overthinking rejections as much as possible. Additionally, I sought feedback and connected with other job seekers for mutual support so we would know we were not alone and learn from one another.

Due to my understanding of the connection between my physical and mental health, I place a high priority on a healthy diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep every day.

Taking walks, keeping a journal, and engaging in meditation have been helpful to me. I am grounded by these activities, which remind me of my purpose and direction as a whole.

It is true that self-doubt occasionally crept in, but I persistently sought to empower myself, focusing on my skills and experiences rather than my perceived barriers. Through this process, I came to trust in my own abilities and strengths.

It is without a doubt a challenge to search for a job these days. As well as providing a platform for enormous personal growth, it became an opportunity for self-awareness and self-discovery. As I embraced and trusted myself, I became confident in the knowledge I was able to find the right role - one that recognized and rewarded my contributions.

In addition to Christy’s input, I had the pleasure of speaking with multiple job seekers this past week, and here are the insights that came from my conversations with them.

Work With a Coach or Counselor

Josh who is in Talent Acquisition mentioned to me that his past company really prioritized mental health and this has helped him be more open to coaching. He says it’s not just for extreme cases either. He talks to a coach/counselor at least two times per month and finds it incredibly helpful.

Network

Networking may not always lead to a job, but it helps you know that you’re not alone. Everyone is experiencing similar situations and feelings. By building a community around yourself you’ll stay grounded and know that it’s not you.

Get Moving

One of the things that helped Josh on his really bad days was to force himself out of bed and go for a bike ride or jog. He says moving really helps him shake the feelings of job search depression and get back on track.

Set Realistic Goals

Too many of us set goals around things that we have very little control over. You can’t control how many job offers or how many interviews you go on each week. Focus on the things you can control and set goals around those items. You can control how many applications you send, the quality of those jobs you choose to spend time on, and how many conversations you have with others each week.

Realize It’s Not Your Fault

For many of us, our job search situation is not of our making. We’ve seen unprecedented (at least in many of our generations) layoffs and downsizing. Almost every job seeker I interviewed this past week has lost a job at no fault of their own. One was laid off after a company restructuring. Another was let go after their company was bought out by another. This moment may not be of your making and it won’t define who you are.

Avoid the Squirrel Effect

This is always a big problem for me. I’m an idea person and when things don’t go well, I have a tendency to let my brain wander. The result is questioning my plans and job search decisions. Should I look for a different job? Should I freelance instead? Don’t do this. There’s a time and place to evaluate, but constantly chasing squirrels is not going to be productive.

Don’t Get Emotionally Attached to Jobs

No matter how great the job looks or what you’ve heard about the company, never get attached. There’s no point and it will only make things worse. If they don’t select you for an interview or offer you the job, it’s their loss, not yours. Jobs are like buses. If you miss the first one, there’s another one coming 15 minutes later and they all end up at the same place eventually. There will be more opportunities. Focus on finding them. Don’t get hung up on one.

When I spoke with Shona Brenner this week, she told me a story about how she went through multiple interviews. The company even told her that she was qualified for a higher-paying job and that they wanted to offer her a role. When it came to the final interview with the CO of the company, she was ghosted.

No matter how promising something may look, don’t get too attached. It’s brutal out there. Knowing this will help you avoid JSD.

Be Strategic With Your Time

Shona also mentioned that she learned a valuable lesson in that experience that took so much of her energy and time. Be careful where you invest your time. Trust your gut and look out for red flags. Don’t waste your time on things that won’t produce results. It’s impossible to always know who is shooting you straight and who is just yanking you along for whatever reason, but do your best.

Try to avoid fake job postings that have very little information or drawn-out processes that seem unusual.

Get Organized

Staying organized with your calendar, notes, and progress on applications and networking efforts not only helps you analyze what activities work best for you, but also helps you stay grounded. When you’re feeling down, you can look at your organization tools and see that you had 2 interviews and 2 phone screens this week and it’s not as bad as it feels.

If you’re looking for an all-inclusive way to organize your job search, I highly recommend trying Huntr’s Kanban Job Search Tool. You can try it for free with this link.

Contributors

Christy is a contributor to Optim Careers and a Confidence Coach with four decades of expeirence in a diversity of corporate experiences. Her coaching focuses on guiding people to see their true essence and building a job search strategy around that. She’s a staunch advocate for mental health and operates the Authentic Brand Coaching.

Cole Sperry has been a recruiter and resume writer since 2015, working with tens of thousands of job seekers, and hundreds of employers. Today Cole runs a boutique advisory firm consulting with dozens of recruiting firms and is the Managing Editor at OptimCareers.com.

Josh Scofield, SPHR has over a decade of Talent Acquisiton experience in both agency and corporate settings. He graciously contributed to this article and shared his personal job search story about life after a layoff. If you’re looking for a TA Specialist, you can connect with Josh on LinkedIn.

Shona Brenner generously shared her story about a 3 month job search and what it was like making a pivot from retail sales to a new industry. If you’re looking for an Account Executive or Sales Development Representative, you can connect with Shona on LinkedIn.